3 Word Story version 2.0?

[Διμι]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel

[Carnageman]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing

[Karcentric]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing

[Carnageman]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the

[Karcentric]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought

[Διμι]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.

[Carnageman]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
DURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURRDURR
MARKED ONE??? WHAT

[Διμι]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded!

[Karcentric]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll

[Διμι]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively

[Carnageman]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk*

[Διμι]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk* But why open

[Zeno, Lord Camelith]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk* But why open A wormhole into

[Διμι]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk* But why open A wormhole into the hole of

[Carnageman]

~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so You know what You Know What BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
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Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
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Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
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"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
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Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
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The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
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Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that You know what You Know What could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
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The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
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STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
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IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
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and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
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So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
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In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
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So, Tortilla Boy said: You know what You Know What before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
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However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and You know what You Know What TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by You know what BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting You know what BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate You know what BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused You know what You Know What for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, You know what You Know What old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk* But why open A wormhole into the hole of the whole damn