Post by Διμι on Feb 19, 2010 1:38:55 GMT -5
Chapter One:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Twice upon a time there was a bloodsucker eating a helpless Carnageman whose mistake was messing with Comrade Clip/Mag without proper protection. Then Dimitroff drank something pink and he said "Well, this certainly isn't the russian bricks that Gordon Freeman made at Black Mesa before the aliens arrived and screwed, screaming: "FORK YOU, GIVE US THE BLOODSUCKER STUFF YOU'RE FVCKED NOW,YA STUPID SHIT HUMANS."" DESU DESU DESU...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But then again, Sevis didn't know anything about unicorns, or bricks for sticking up people's noses in case things turn vulgar. But, he smelt the soggy biscuit sitting in the bowl of urine which was suspiciously reminding him of the times when he used to swim around in a ditch filled with soggy bricks and old bloodsucker pee, and he realized he enjoyed that so much that he would stop the bloodsucker from eating delicious snorks including Carnageman and a good many duty members and become an hero. He lost admin rights immediately, however refused to admit the fact that he's a useless duty hunter. Sidorovich, who grows llamas, is a bastard, becuase he sold a fucking overpriced Stalker Suit, 60000ru.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So brave Skogstroll approached Sid and drew his mighty diet sausage knife, all while saying: "Fool! You've Doomed Yourself!" so he challenged him to soggy bisCuit eating while swimming in fresh llama pee. Pistol spinning made everyone fall over while vomiting odd looking carrot chunks out of their noses, and their brains had been attacked by grammar nazis who love to hate to worship their monoliths. So,that particular stalkers would go berserk trying to eat their favorite bloodsucker plush dolls, orange flavored snorks, and exploding hotdogs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Occasionally, blowouts would create super massive three word stories which would go turn the freedoliths into wonderful heroic bricks wandering around the zone, trying to free their brethren from the evil mutant elephant. But alas they failed to realize that the zombie became an hero and gave his best medkit to Sidorovich, who predictably didn't know who to sell it to, since dog food was not very healthy for zombies or stalkers, thus disabling the brainless victims of too much absinthe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That bastard, Sidorovich is apparently unforgettably familiar to Tolik, who nobody cares to talk to because loners are the biggest bunch of bricks ever. That's what happens when you mess with 6 ft odd ZSG members, who can squish ye with their superior developers! developers! developers! Which fail to understand M$'s plot due to their greedy a$$e$ being filled with horns of bloody moolah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a completely different topic, Sidorovich is still an hero (NOT) whether or not he grows llamas. Poltergeist stew makes for runny runny poo. And in large quantities as well as luverly colors and odors too! But, the Emperor of the Zone didn't like the weird tilde appearing so he hired two midget pseudogiants to try and dislodge his swollen tongue in order to french kiss the annoying tilde.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COOL STORY BRO! Said the Freedom drug addict just after finishing another whiff of the new batch, wheezing after taking another shot of his T-vodka he stumbled into the grave yard of the ÌÎÍÎËÈÒ! The C-consciousness lolled. Things went downhill quickly, resulting in a painful lung cancer inducing allergies to alcohol, drugs, and lots of mutant leprachauns. Resulting in costly inductions of TILDES everywhere, making it impossible to actually shit bricks repeatedly following mass consumption cement and gravel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now this is truly a waste of words when we begin to ramble on about mushrooms, midgets and pseudomidgets in disguise. Cripples in bunkers made of sticks were blown away by sidrovich's overpriced BASTARD leaf blowers which cost about 2 500 000 RU each. Tax and Shipping Included. This left everyone writing four word contributions because no one cared about the problems Sidorovich faced as he never used his legs until 2013 when his brick toilet imploded due to a massive blowout. Sidorovich mightily sat on his bloodsucker furry friend, flattening all cola in the local area and caused the great war between the tildes and four word contributions after using three strikes you're out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to Sidorovich:He is dead! BECAUSE DOG FOOD GOES INTO SAUSAGES THAT GO INTO STALKERS, causing terrible diarrhea or opstipation. Whatever the hell the oranges wanted, it was clear what the freedolith were trying to remove all of the tildes, failing as they replaced v rious lett rs an n mbe s w th s a d ot er a no ing Fortunately, a circumflex managed to uncover the covers of cowardice, thus effectively disabling the tildes. The tildes retaliated with ~extreme~ prejudice an~ st[tilde]rt[tilde]d p[tilde]epar[tilde]ng ventures into Duty's weapons supplies, writing two words of demented d00m.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joining the tildes: made no sense to losers like Sidorovich cause he's dead! Anyway, the only thing mattering was the spaghetti sandwiches that were rapidly spawning tildes in enormous numbers. But what exactly are these 'tildes'? Dimitroff sets out to find the Station of Obvious. But the train was at the antiques shop, browsing for tildes and reduced theit numbers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now for something with over 9000 tildes. Tilde- WRITE THREE WORDS!!!!!!!!! Sorry, 4 words now came marching in wielding massive hammers of BOLT HOLD OPEN MAGAZINES AND ASSORTED CRAP. CAPSLOCK must die along with four words, reverting back to it's original three word state. But bricks were mightily shat by the jesus fucking christ Comrade Clip/Mag had kindly sodomized before the O.o took place. So Comrade Clip/Mag banned everyone for daring to defy the amazing powers of dragunov's suave advances. Suddenly without warning- tildes, hundreds of the bloody things began advancing on Dragunov, who stopped time instantaneously with BOLT HOLD OPEN. By this time everything seemed doomed as the tildes appeared to consume the valiant admins,working in groups to prevail against Dragunov's totalitarian regime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Sidorovich watched Comrade Clip/Mag fight the urge to destroy bolt hold open, he himself had shot his load for some booze that barkeep owed but never got those mags someone told him about BECAUSE DOG FOOD WAS STILL OVERPRICED! With over 9000ru being wasted on dry cloth on a gooseberry bush. However, the bush men didn't mind the savage raiding so he took his stick and proceeded to savagely beat his overpriced dry cloth of Sidorovilism, resulting in the massive verbal diahrea of tildes. Flooding from all possible exits, BOLT HOLD CLOSED demanded a tribute or at least a free parking space.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In response, Comrade Clip/Mag completely annihilated Dimitroff's base of operations WRITE EVERYTHING, Comrade Clip/Mag. Anyway, Dimitroff retaliated, severely breaching protocol tilde tildety tildeing that then evolved into several cute squid like tildes. It was a truly spiritual experience for all involved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, short paragraph. Yet very eloquent Iggy started d00ming, editing TWICE, which haha! You're late! What the fuck... Cried one brave confused soul as this story started taking a turn towards the darkside. SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!!! As he was raped by bees for five whole weeks, Ashot realized and was killed for making a very "small" mistake: not telling Sidorovich to shut the fuck up or get banhammered in his reinforced bunker. Which started glowing, cracking and finally melting in an incredible spectacle of midgets fidgeting with neon lights and BOLT HOLD OPEN. It dawned upon Skinflint that eating Ashot's rations wasn't the most prudent course of action, as Ashot's raping left quite a hole in his hole, disrupting the hole of the singularity that was in Forester's forest. Distorting everything around Duty's campfire, Comrade Clip/Mag yet again stopped picking his nose.
_________________
.
Nice period Redrick! Is this right, yammering like this could result in permanent banhammerments for years to come. So? Dartz isn't drunk enough to fuck with the yammering drunkards, so let's all just drink some more and keep yammering until it makes Comrade Clip/Mag get his secret rifle out, and deliver massive amounts of pain. Which stopped Yar, As he was a little puddle of vodka in the bar watching duty enthusiastically murdering tildes to death. twice. Everyone gasped aloud and giggled nervously as the story turned into mozzarella tilde Redrick's ending was far away enough to look for another drink of pseudogiants' sweat. Sidorovich, whose son of a bitch loudmouth bastard Rottweiler ate my sandwich, tried to bite Moscow in half and killed the hypothetical wind-up like an asshole Dick the Tramp winked to Wank the monolith away to La-la Land. Back to Sidorovich in the studio. His son of a thousand miles of licorice strings was eaten by two solid frogs' keepers, who sold artifacts cheaply, knowing Sidorovich cares about such things.
Suddenly BOLT HOLD OPEN was mysteriously replaced by something bad UNDO UNDO UNDO.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About radiator impacts: don't underestimate them. That is all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stalkers everywhere attacked Sidorovich's henchmen in minutes, with BOLT action cupcakes. Thus allowing snorks to scratch themselves maniacally in tsiros' snapshots because of jock straps itching like MOTHERFUCKERS! This was an embarrassing for Karcentric, whose grammar nazi monoliths went medieval on his camp, ruining everything that could have been used against bad grammar. This greatly upset many svobodaliths, who decided grammar and radiators should go hand on Sid's variety show every tuesday.
PostPosted: 08 08 08, 08 11:54 am Post subject:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, the show wasn't very popular because Sidorovich is THE Sandvich! Nomnomnom..... . So, regarding the crap they had eaten for breakfast... wait, who again? Oh yeah, Bullet! The crap he ate was so foul, so disgusting, so incomprehensibly vile, repugnant, detestable, odious, and other horrors that one cannot begin to comprehend how his mental state was still allowing to eat such vile things day after day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
It's SIDDY TIME! He also eats a bag of lazy tsiros every so often for supper so he could become SUPER LAZY SIDDY, WHO SHITS CAPS LOCK +BIG LETTERS, BOLDED AND UNDERLINED, MOTHERFUCKER STILL MISSING SOMETHING went on to brush his teeth with barbed wire which resulted in tremendous sex appeal amongst some of the ZSG's administrators.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enough about Sidorovich! But his son sprinkles teriyaki sauce everywhere over the bar, causing untold Carnage to lose his sense of direction, leading him to fuck up John Locke's shit about sousafon players' everywhere making them whip out their mighty sausage knives, all while saying "Stand back fiends!!!", he then says "I'll call for backup" "-And pizza!" - And weed!!" However, all these stockpiles were unavailable. Leaving it to Sidorovich to get some MAD BOOTY! Oh, and some weed, pizza and... wait...and a dragon? "Who the hell got that thing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Back in the day when bloodsuckers weren't often domesticated) They threw radiators into Yantar, causing impacts on ZSGers, turning them into yet more tildes which attacked people leaving for Tunisia! This sparked outrage amongst Tunisians,whose Windows(tm) were so shocked, they formed small oblong clusters went BOLT HOLD crazy making strange little pearly jewelry to hang off the BELT HELD OBJECTS, Like that new detector Sidorovich sold, "It's fucking me in the guise of a lost peacock chicken that attacked stalkers using nothing but explosive red barrels and propelled them rather weakly about for a while!" So you know it wasn't that OTHER detector BARKEEP sold dropping bricks into various pants like a mad monolith member that had eaten cement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since Danwrazor disappeared, shit's gone downhill like when we banned CHERNOBYL cause the forum is under the totalitarian daisies of do0m which spawned countless permabans and such. The monolith marched towards BOLT HOLD MOLTEN with nothing but TILDES+CAPS and INSERT END stuck, leaving them BOLT HOLD OPEN to enemy fire and Siddie's farts. While mushrooms fell, empires were founded by purple pieces of rhubarb pie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Pavlik's permaban, freedom hunted down the friendly zombie who played Poker's rifled harmonica like a crazy drunkard Cap. The alleged theory that poker works for Svobodalith World Poker Challenge fell as the rifling machine in the back shed went off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little was known about Sid's pudding recipe (it was blancmange!) it had bolts, but no tildes OR BOLT HOLD THE FUCK UP ALREADY, GO TO THE OTHER FARM, the funny one. Don't panic! Flemish, the mad bandit who sells slaves through cunning telemarketers that convinced stalkers to buy bread, can help you! In ways you can't really explain, actually. For example, he does the chicken dance, impressing the egghead girls, bloatmongers, penitent niggards and alike. That uptight asshole, for example, used to annoy Comrade Clip/Mag by mistaking clips and magazines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last but certainly not least, girls cannot came.
Now that's random. And not grammatic.
Chapter Two:
~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so BOLT HOLD OPEN BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that BOLT HOLD OPEN could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: BOLT HOLD OPEN before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and BOLT HOLD OPEN TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by BOLT HOLD OPEN BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting BOLT HOLD OPEN BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate BOLT HOLD OPEN BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused BOLT HOLD OPEN for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, BOLT HOLD OPEN old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk* But why open A wormhole into the hole of the whole damn COLT BOLD TUTUCOPTER, shot down by Chernobyl's personal army. "For Ukrytie!" shouted the sodomised vasectomy we're done here... Until someone starts reviving dead threads. Because starting new HOLTO BOLD PEN WOULD HOPEN POLT HOLD LOCK. "Now, that was informative!" said to Snitch the rookie who didn't get out of here before the STALKER.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limp Dick Bizkit was procrastinating till the end of all time! which was sooner than you might think as giant JOLT ROLL TOKENS ROLLED UP TO RUN YOU OVER USING CAPS LOCK. BOOM SHAKE SHAKE POW! MOTHERFUCKERS! Dead. Not big surprise. Not. At. Al.L. STOP DEFECATING ON THIS THREAD DAMMIT!! IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE ACTUALLY CARES FORK YOU ANTON!
Too long.
Fin
Chapter Three:
~Let's begin anew and try not to become a gibbering mass of BOLT HOLD OPEN. Fuck, that failed as BOLT HOLD took command of OPEN and spawned a terrible meme. The friendly zombie, detrats ot epyt sdrawkcab, tub stopped talking to budgies, removing unnecessary tildes, and tripping over new ganja shipments. Thankfully there was enough Swaziland for HOLT BOLD to get ONEP, but
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck your paragraph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck yours too. Strike 47 for the teapot team.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Senka dropped a big shite and got banned. There was little dispute to Dimitroff's itchy ban hammer, but there wasn't an extra line left for Ganja, who dropped two.
And began to procrastinate, terribly. Peanut brained Sidorovich, however, forgot where his Skogstroll's mighty sausage wasn't available for FOOL, leading to a trap for bears (which hadn't caused any trouble up until now. When suddenly a skeleton popped out brandishing Sidorovich's soggy bodily secretions, making noises that indicated erection was achieved. "Flee!" cried the sane, while YOU failed to run in a silly burn into the pit of eternal burination before someone said: "well, this certainly isn't the Russian bricks that I ate earlier, making for one interesting dinner conversation. "Pass the salt and here's your ["]. Mass quote confusion surely would confuse anyone except for the one who fucked your mother. With that lovely, this fact shocked several fuzeboxes, from here to Yantar. The radiators, however disturbed the flora, remove all vacuum or else the meme is broken. Sid's many lamas, misspelled horrifically by Zeno's internet browser. Sentence fragment pwnage. Is not only a tragedy, but also fucks up fucking fuckery, fucktard! "Дабай, Ара, всё!" Some drunk guy beat up emos, who were actually asking for it. An emergency evacuation of bowels lead to gulag tiem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In glorious CCCP paragraph starts you! Said the renowned, confirming the fact there was no fungi to be taken with tomatoes on the radiator. Once again, Sidorovich IS DEAD, because I HATE HIM and his DOGFOOD, SO FUCK HIM. Overly ambitious Carnage is awesome, so Pinnochio's nose grew. Carnage sitting on his awesome chair, missing one leg, is still awesome. For a flesh. Except on Wednesdays of broken sentences. FUCK YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! BOLT HOLD...NO YOU! Then Santa Claus invaded the pants of dead Sidorovich, gnolting mold tokens. But Chris Hansen didn't like the colour of the sex predator's car, so he planted a nuclear bomb up your arse. Clearasil ate children during Sidorovich variety exhibition in the main hall. Pepsi makes for tipsy cocktails when mixed with DOGFOOD sandvich will make you screw grammar in glorious CCCP, land of Sidorovich reign, unless he's dead... Which allows grammar to prosper successfully, ruining sentences everywhere wait, how? Grammar children like zombie goats. The stock market fell when BOLT OUT OF HERE YOU DAMNED MEMES. "Mission accomplished!" said the almighty BOLTER HOLDER OPENER grizzly bear troll, whose procrastination exemplars are unrivaled throughout. "Throughout what, exactly?" Asked the bear. "Throughout the world, you drunken buffoon!", answered the Illuminati. Limp Dick Gwajabba lol'd, causing untold horrors of lost games. However, the game wasn't lost, as Candlejack qui
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"That was interesting." One guy commented on the friendly Christmas zombie gambler who lost garters in the bottomless pit of marshmallows. Rogue Ganja salesmen plotted against Hutu, planning to steal Tutsi game plans. The only problem was Sidorovich: that he is dead didn't help business WITH FOGDOOD. Inconspicuous pygmy bandits infiltrated ingenious inaccessible infrastructures, indenting insulation induced increased artifact theft to tropical tracts, tyrannically thrashing Transylvanian triangular thresholds. Tolik took the timer, trying to teleport 500 posts ahead. But the telephone decided to fuck your mother. Thus, YOUR MOM WAS PHONE AND DEMONS YOU ARE THE. OLOL LOL'D THE LOLZY LOLRUS INTO LOSING it's Brain to Professor Sakharov in a game, "Doin' it WRONG" "NO U" mumbled the METAL BOXES OF ELECTRICAL POWER WITH ALL CAPS BEIN' PAWP'D, NEGGUH. WHACHOO LOOKIN AT? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tildety tilde tilded smashed by picket crawled up your nose and sold countless wonders, procrastinating procrastination: that's right, he said procrastination!! Congruence is a bolt, held open against your face - cold, inexorable, unrelenting! Speaking about Sidorovich ordering Zeno pizza with disgusting salami for 17 000 rubles (the average stalker having to squat in a moldy stingy porridge salesman's bunker eating DOGFOOD sold by Sidorovich at BASTARD OVERPRICED ridiculous sidenote lengths) because it was topped with powdered Moonlight and Urchin, and a sideorder of Snorkshake bucket, Controller brains dip, and Flesh crackling ;ryyrtd djogyrf tohjy, "That was bananas." "Bullshit, bananas don't bend that way." The bartender shouted "FOOL" at Vanya, making him push Sidorovich's corpse into the X10 lab's Snork Construction Room which created Snorkosids and Sidorovich regenerated. Able to jump straight into a pit of molten fruit punch, creating BOLT HOLD SIDDIE, he quickly dismantled Karcentric's fecal grammar and shot two drugs: pentaendomonotodextrin and assaholomophrin, rapidly becoming bloated and irritable, enddasentencedammit! With that, Cthulhu pth'agn R'lyeh lolled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Karcentric's fecal grammar once again took hold over fucking your mother. Yes, Carnage's mother. And Afterburnzz's. Hard. Yes, Afterburnzz's dog. That's his mother. Actually, Carnageman's mother. Something truly terrible, yet SIDOROVICH IS DEAD FOR GOOD! Really now? Let's celebrate! HE REGENERATED! Bullshit, Sidoroviches don't exist. Or do Llamas just pop in out of nowhere, like BOLTS and HOLD OPEN being DOGFOOD. Auspicious, the mad bandit guru lead spies quickly succumbed to Kobura's fecal grammar. No fecal grammar could possibly match your mother's, though. Serial rapist Sidorovich definitely defiled her. These fragment sentences are as profound, as they are braindead due to having their brains fried in their skulls by the rebuilt Brain Scorcher. That was lame. Almost as lame as Ganja having a sandvich with Heavy Sidorovich guy, who was outsmarted. Not a hard thing to do, considering SIDOROVICH, the bastard, is dead. No, that's a Siddie, not a paraplegic fat bastard, who sells overpriced BASTARD radiators: 200 000 000 0 RU . Motherfucking rubles. Bastard. Ass. Random words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a midnight dreary, pissing, the mad bandit, was a lolcamel and sexy Sidorovich was a zombie that ZSG loved back to death because they're necrophiliacs. Not that it matters, Sidorovich regeneration gives you AIDS, osteoporosis and hemorrhoids. In other news Admin said MONOLITH! YES HE DID! Doing it wrong is a shame, and is WRONG. So stop it. So sexy Sidorovich, dying, proclaimed that he was leaving Nitro his bunker: Due to alcoholic poisoning by Cardan, this was exceptional. Or was it? Sure it was, but was WRONG. God, too wrong, like beer milkshakes or carrot flavored radioactive zombie herpes. Definitely not the best choice around here. What is this shit?! Cried the clone of MAH BOI, STRIVING TO GET DINNER. BUT ALAS, DINNER WAS ALREADY SERVED! And Vano said "My nose has melted into the orange flesh eye, and the Sidorovich stockpiles have dwindled, leaving him with Trololo peanut butter. Basically, everyone's in Pripyat, eating spam bought from Sidorovich." without drawing breath! BOLT HOLD OPEN will save us from Voronin's satanic ways, leaving him, Zhorik's mutated daughter and her radiator. Garik's rap battle failed to impress MC Docent Suslov: the alpha and omega of rap (if not counting Sidorovich's mix tape, sold at BASTARD, BULLSHIT, FUCKING EXPENSIVE Judenstrudelberg sponsored stores)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After his lengthy length penetrated all sorts of bullshit polka dancing bandits)<- THE FUCKING COLON IS HAUNTING ME! Well, seeing that Skogstroll drew his, looked at it and ate some unnecessary commas, we performed tonsillectomy, vasectomy, lobotomy and autobiography. Chef, the chef was an Anarchist. Suprisingly enough. "Word!" Replied the only friendly dancing zombie, holding bolts open. Communisation was implemented without any sauce spread over the Diet Sausage and the tildes in Simple Snow's basement, flooded by diarrhea and vodka, which taste good together. As long as the stool's fresh. I wat'd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short stroke pistons stroke striking prickly pork, pounding pans set seldom a sellable Sidorovich prices, poking with prickly penetrators, seeking somnambulist sonatas. Powerful, submersible septic serpentine synchronics sway TO THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH SHITTY MUSICALS. Back In The USSR there was this girl that I kinda liked, but she was sent a letter which demolished her house, making rape the primary food source, ruling her out. Saddened by this, several bandits killed me and cut an apple into 5 pieces, leaving me to resurrect another Sidorovich clone. "DAMMIT MORE SIDOROVICH!", she yelled when MC Docent Suslov played a commercial video with DJ Garik naked in OG Father Valerian's Loner Camp love tub and jacuzzi, with bloodsuckers and fleshes in catsuits. When the vodka charged, shouting "FOOL!" at Mr.T who, taking in a room full of strange antics, joined with Zulu, sounddocking a vodka bottle in a way guaranteed to cause untold mayhem, runny stools and intense cranial hemorrhaging. For those concerned, GET IN HERE, STALKER! GET OUT OF MY DREAMS! Jump into the goatse with the snorks, releasing mixtapes , rapping to the cabaret of Poker to DJ Garik's beats, inducing long lasting addictions to Wu Tang's last meal. Respectively, NUKULAR SHROOMZ and ice cream led to this.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIRST MATE SIDOROVICH! DROP AND GIVE ME NINETY THOUSAND OF YOUR HARDEST PSEUDODOG TAILS AND OVERPRICED BASTARD SUITS. SUDDENLY, DISCO DANCE DIMITROFF DROPPED DOWN, ALL THE SINGLE, DATING, AND WEDDED SIDOROVICH LOOK ALIKES ALLOWED ADDITIONAL ADDITIVES AT ALLOTED ADDICTIVE ASSIGNED ANTISOCIAL ANABIOTICS ADDICTIVE ALOTTED AROUND ANONYMOUS ANIMAL APTITUDES. AIMING AN AK AT AN ANTONOV, ALEX ARSEFACEY ANNIHILATED ANASTASIA'S AILING AUNTS. AFTER ABNORMALLY ANGERING ANDROPOV, ALEX AIDED AARDVARKS' AUSPICIOUS ADVANCES ALTERING ALEX'S ACTING ALL AGAINST AKSU ABOVE AUSTRALIA AMIABLY ALTERING AUGMENTED ASTERISKS. ANDROPOV APPLIED ALEX'S, effectively stopping this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In capitalist America URGL BRGLS YOU! This is because orange flavoured snorks worship their Monoliths like crazy polar and bipolar Svoboda members who forgot to hate to create Sidorovich clones and love their snorks with tits. "SNORKS WITH TITS?!", General Voronin demanded sauce, seeing how kiddiot spammers invaded OH DUDE SNORKS WITH TITS is YEARNING FOR BANNAGE by zombiefyed traders who wear stockings on their arms cause their legs were dissolved by Carnage's absinthe cocktail and fruit punch mix, which was swimming in urine, like, dude, like, a wild Sidorovich just jumped off an oak, dying almost completely. But Sidorovich regeneration BOLTS THE COFFIN OF HOLD OPEN, thereforeby incapacitating all surrounding bagel-eating Sidorovichs, forcing PRICE CUTS! ON OVERPRICED SUITS! No fucking way... YES FUCKING WAY, ONLY 59,999RU, 99 COPECKS! HOW CAN YOU RESIST THE SIDOROLITH? Quite easily actually, considering SIDDIE NEVER HAD A SHRINE, only three temples. Made of stinking OLD MAN BACKGROUNDS, WHICH ARE DISGUSTING AND DECREPIT HORRIBLE, raping eyes everywhere. So brave Skogstroll did a RickRoll, drew his mighty awesome Niggamortis LP with its PINGAS , PENDOUS, PIENDISH, PINESS, all while screaming: SHIT ON SIDOROVICH, say what honky? Fuck all holes of bovine excrement. Fuck dat shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BASTARD SIDOROVICH fans continued price gouging, shitting kopecks and brown-nosing Sidorovich. Who deserved it. Wait, is that -HOLD THAT BOLT! TOO MUCH CANCER! OR IS IHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The previous paragraph was shorter than Mitay's Sidorovich boner towards the uncanny stalker who was collecting Rule 63 to his precious snorks, adding TITS, being slapped in the face by an unbelievably mighty man-sausage from Sidorovich fan club and stopped his silly shit. Soodooroovooch! Hovong collod Morkod one, time again, Dragunov stopped picking his nose. I had a knife, somewhere, a knife! "WHICH SPARROW STOLE FEATHERS FOR ITS FECAL GRAMMAR NEST?", yelled Adder at Maginot's rather disloyal display of assholery through incredulous dullard-like drinking skills. Behind your backs, admins were planning something, like permabannage or inhumation with maximum efficiency, agility, weed killer and Trololo murderous BASTARD cakes of soap flakes that PWNT Sidorovich into endless clones of Chernobyl, invading the Rookie Camp and increasing prices remarkably. "60,000.01 RU BASTARD SUITS?! Fuck me sideways!" yelled Maginot, and widened his buttocks in vain, expecting a merciless DICKING.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No faggotry here, seriously, no homo. Anyway, having gutted YO WHITE AZZ COZ YA'LLZ WAZ SHOPPING AT SIDOROVICH'S SUPER STORE OF OVERPRICED STALKER GOODS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOLT. HOLD.
Конец.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Twice upon a time there was a bloodsucker eating a helpless Carnageman whose mistake was messing with Comrade Clip/Mag without proper protection. Then Dimitroff drank something pink and he said "Well, this certainly isn't the russian bricks that Gordon Freeman made at Black Mesa before the aliens arrived and screwed, screaming: "FORK YOU, GIVE US THE BLOODSUCKER STUFF YOU'RE FVCKED NOW,YA STUPID SHIT HUMANS."" DESU DESU DESU...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But then again, Sevis didn't know anything about unicorns, or bricks for sticking up people's noses in case things turn vulgar. But, he smelt the soggy biscuit sitting in the bowl of urine which was suspiciously reminding him of the times when he used to swim around in a ditch filled with soggy bricks and old bloodsucker pee, and he realized he enjoyed that so much that he would stop the bloodsucker from eating delicious snorks including Carnageman and a good many duty members and become an hero. He lost admin rights immediately, however refused to admit the fact that he's a useless duty hunter. Sidorovich, who grows llamas, is a bastard, becuase he sold a fucking overpriced Stalker Suit, 60000ru.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So brave Skogstroll approached Sid and drew his mighty diet sausage knife, all while saying: "Fool! You've Doomed Yourself!" so he challenged him to soggy bisCuit eating while swimming in fresh llama pee. Pistol spinning made everyone fall over while vomiting odd looking carrot chunks out of their noses, and their brains had been attacked by grammar nazis who love to hate to worship their monoliths. So,that particular stalkers would go berserk trying to eat their favorite bloodsucker plush dolls, orange flavored snorks, and exploding hotdogs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Occasionally, blowouts would create super massive three word stories which would go turn the freedoliths into wonderful heroic bricks wandering around the zone, trying to free their brethren from the evil mutant elephant. But alas they failed to realize that the zombie became an hero and gave his best medkit to Sidorovich, who predictably didn't know who to sell it to, since dog food was not very healthy for zombies or stalkers, thus disabling the brainless victims of too much absinthe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That bastard, Sidorovich is apparently unforgettably familiar to Tolik, who nobody cares to talk to because loners are the biggest bunch of bricks ever. That's what happens when you mess with 6 ft odd ZSG members, who can squish ye with their superior developers! developers! developers! Which fail to understand M$'s plot due to their greedy a$$e$ being filled with horns of bloody moolah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a completely different topic, Sidorovich is still an hero (NOT) whether or not he grows llamas. Poltergeist stew makes for runny runny poo. And in large quantities as well as luverly colors and odors too! But, the Emperor of the Zone didn't like the weird tilde appearing so he hired two midget pseudogiants to try and dislodge his swollen tongue in order to french kiss the annoying tilde.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COOL STORY BRO! Said the Freedom drug addict just after finishing another whiff of the new batch, wheezing after taking another shot of his T-vodka he stumbled into the grave yard of the ÌÎÍÎËÈÒ! The C-consciousness lolled. Things went downhill quickly, resulting in a painful lung cancer inducing allergies to alcohol, drugs, and lots of mutant leprachauns. Resulting in costly inductions of TILDES everywhere, making it impossible to actually shit bricks repeatedly following mass consumption cement and gravel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now this is truly a waste of words when we begin to ramble on about mushrooms, midgets and pseudomidgets in disguise. Cripples in bunkers made of sticks were blown away by sidrovich's overpriced BASTARD leaf blowers which cost about 2 500 000 RU each. Tax and Shipping Included. This left everyone writing four word contributions because no one cared about the problems Sidorovich faced as he never used his legs until 2013 when his brick toilet imploded due to a massive blowout. Sidorovich mightily sat on his bloodsucker furry friend, flattening all cola in the local area and caused the great war between the tildes and four word contributions after using three strikes you're out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to Sidorovich:He is dead! BECAUSE DOG FOOD GOES INTO SAUSAGES THAT GO INTO STALKERS, causing terrible diarrhea or opstipation. Whatever the hell the oranges wanted, it was clear what the freedolith were trying to remove all of the tildes, failing as they replaced v rious lett rs an n mbe s w th s a d ot er a no ing Fortunately, a circumflex managed to uncover the covers of cowardice, thus effectively disabling the tildes. The tildes retaliated with ~extreme~ prejudice an~ st[tilde]rt[tilde]d p[tilde]epar[tilde]ng ventures into Duty's weapons supplies, writing two words of demented d00m.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joining the tildes: made no sense to losers like Sidorovich cause he's dead! Anyway, the only thing mattering was the spaghetti sandwiches that were rapidly spawning tildes in enormous numbers. But what exactly are these 'tildes'? Dimitroff sets out to find the Station of Obvious. But the train was at the antiques shop, browsing for tildes and reduced theit numbers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now for something with over 9000 tildes. Tilde- WRITE THREE WORDS!!!!!!!!! Sorry, 4 words now came marching in wielding massive hammers of BOLT HOLD OPEN MAGAZINES AND ASSORTED CRAP. CAPSLOCK must die along with four words, reverting back to it's original three word state. But bricks were mightily shat by the jesus fucking christ Comrade Clip/Mag had kindly sodomized before the O.o took place. So Comrade Clip/Mag banned everyone for daring to defy the amazing powers of dragunov's suave advances. Suddenly without warning- tildes, hundreds of the bloody things began advancing on Dragunov, who stopped time instantaneously with BOLT HOLD OPEN. By this time everything seemed doomed as the tildes appeared to consume the valiant admins,working in groups to prevail against Dragunov's totalitarian regime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Sidorovich watched Comrade Clip/Mag fight the urge to destroy bolt hold open, he himself had shot his load for some booze that barkeep owed but never got those mags someone told him about BECAUSE DOG FOOD WAS STILL OVERPRICED! With over 9000ru being wasted on dry cloth on a gooseberry bush. However, the bush men didn't mind the savage raiding so he took his stick and proceeded to savagely beat his overpriced dry cloth of Sidorovilism, resulting in the massive verbal diahrea of tildes. Flooding from all possible exits, BOLT HOLD CLOSED demanded a tribute or at least a free parking space.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In response, Comrade Clip/Mag completely annihilated Dimitroff's base of operations WRITE EVERYTHING, Comrade Clip/Mag. Anyway, Dimitroff retaliated, severely breaching protocol tilde tildety tildeing that then evolved into several cute squid like tildes. It was a truly spiritual experience for all involved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, short paragraph. Yet very eloquent Iggy started d00ming, editing TWICE, which haha! You're late! What the fuck... Cried one brave confused soul as this story started taking a turn towards the darkside. SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!!! As he was raped by bees for five whole weeks, Ashot realized and was killed for making a very "small" mistake: not telling Sidorovich to shut the fuck up or get banhammered in his reinforced bunker. Which started glowing, cracking and finally melting in an incredible spectacle of midgets fidgeting with neon lights and BOLT HOLD OPEN. It dawned upon Skinflint that eating Ashot's rations wasn't the most prudent course of action, as Ashot's raping left quite a hole in his hole, disrupting the hole of the singularity that was in Forester's forest. Distorting everything around Duty's campfire, Comrade Clip/Mag yet again stopped picking his nose.
_________________
.
Nice period Redrick! Is this right, yammering like this could result in permanent banhammerments for years to come. So? Dartz isn't drunk enough to fuck with the yammering drunkards, so let's all just drink some more and keep yammering until it makes Comrade Clip/Mag get his secret rifle out, and deliver massive amounts of pain. Which stopped Yar, As he was a little puddle of vodka in the bar watching duty enthusiastically murdering tildes to death. twice. Everyone gasped aloud and giggled nervously as the story turned into mozzarella tilde Redrick's ending was far away enough to look for another drink of pseudogiants' sweat. Sidorovich, whose son of a bitch loudmouth bastard Rottweiler ate my sandwich, tried to bite Moscow in half and killed the hypothetical wind-up like an asshole Dick the Tramp winked to Wank the monolith away to La-la Land. Back to Sidorovich in the studio. His son of a thousand miles of licorice strings was eaten by two solid frogs' keepers, who sold artifacts cheaply, knowing Sidorovich cares about such things.
Suddenly BOLT HOLD OPEN was mysteriously replaced by something bad UNDO UNDO UNDO.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About radiator impacts: don't underestimate them. That is all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stalkers everywhere attacked Sidorovich's henchmen in minutes, with BOLT action cupcakes. Thus allowing snorks to scratch themselves maniacally in tsiros' snapshots because of jock straps itching like MOTHERFUCKERS! This was an embarrassing for Karcentric, whose grammar nazi monoliths went medieval on his camp, ruining everything that could have been used against bad grammar. This greatly upset many svobodaliths, who decided grammar and radiators should go hand on Sid's variety show every tuesday.
PostPosted: 08 08 08, 08 11:54 am Post subject:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, the show wasn't very popular because Sidorovich is THE Sandvich! Nomnomnom..... . So, regarding the crap they had eaten for breakfast... wait, who again? Oh yeah, Bullet! The crap he ate was so foul, so disgusting, so incomprehensibly vile, repugnant, detestable, odious, and other horrors that one cannot begin to comprehend how his mental state was still allowing to eat such vile things day after day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
It's SIDDY TIME! He also eats a bag of lazy tsiros every so often for supper so he could become SUPER LAZY SIDDY, WHO SHITS CAPS LOCK +BIG LETTERS, BOLDED AND UNDERLINED, MOTHERFUCKER STILL MISSING SOMETHING went on to brush his teeth with barbed wire which resulted in tremendous sex appeal amongst some of the ZSG's administrators.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enough about Sidorovich! But his son sprinkles teriyaki sauce everywhere over the bar, causing untold Carnage to lose his sense of direction, leading him to fuck up John Locke's shit about sousafon players' everywhere making them whip out their mighty sausage knives, all while saying "Stand back fiends!!!", he then says "I'll call for backup" "-And pizza!" - And weed!!" However, all these stockpiles were unavailable. Leaving it to Sidorovich to get some MAD BOOTY! Oh, and some weed, pizza and... wait...and a dragon? "Who the hell got that thing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Back in the day when bloodsuckers weren't often domesticated) They threw radiators into Yantar, causing impacts on ZSGers, turning them into yet more tildes which attacked people leaving for Tunisia! This sparked outrage amongst Tunisians,whose Windows(tm) were so shocked, they formed small oblong clusters went BOLT HOLD crazy making strange little pearly jewelry to hang off the BELT HELD OBJECTS, Like that new detector Sidorovich sold, "It's fucking me in the guise of a lost peacock chicken that attacked stalkers using nothing but explosive red barrels and propelled them rather weakly about for a while!" So you know it wasn't that OTHER detector BARKEEP sold dropping bricks into various pants like a mad monolith member that had eaten cement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since Danwrazor disappeared, shit's gone downhill like when we banned CHERNOBYL cause the forum is under the totalitarian daisies of do0m which spawned countless permabans and such. The monolith marched towards BOLT HOLD MOLTEN with nothing but TILDES+CAPS and INSERT END stuck, leaving them BOLT HOLD OPEN to enemy fire and Siddie's farts. While mushrooms fell, empires were founded by purple pieces of rhubarb pie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Pavlik's permaban, freedom hunted down the friendly zombie who played Poker's rifled harmonica like a crazy drunkard Cap. The alleged theory that poker works for Svobodalith World Poker Challenge fell as the rifling machine in the back shed went off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little was known about Sid's pudding recipe (it was blancmange!) it had bolts, but no tildes OR BOLT HOLD THE FUCK UP ALREADY, GO TO THE OTHER FARM, the funny one. Don't panic! Flemish, the mad bandit who sells slaves through cunning telemarketers that convinced stalkers to buy bread, can help you! In ways you can't really explain, actually. For example, he does the chicken dance, impressing the egghead girls, bloatmongers, penitent niggards and alike. That uptight asshole, for example, used to annoy Comrade Clip/Mag by mistaking clips and magazines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last but certainly not least, girls cannot came.
Now that's random. And not grammatic.
Chapter Two:
~After the fall down the stairs, the original three master stalkers were kidnapped by a serene bloodsucker magician, who was terrible at keeping the flock of flesh, that was roaming around Sidorovich's counter from eating customers who complained about dogfood. Our heroes, having defeated the bloodsucker magician by injecting themselves with stercus tauri, causing lobster like knife protrusions in their old grandfather clocks, are disappointed by the smell of stale cookies, so BOLT HOLD OPEN BY THE NECK FELL THROUGH THE ALL CAPS+NO PUNCTUATION OR RELATION TO WHATSOEVER THIS CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, the stalkers recognized the increase in mutant activity as an onset of a tilde pandemic of gargantuan, so they shot Garik's mutated daughter. Then Zhorik's, then attacked that other guy in the exoskeleton and had a nice barbecue down with the army by the little cottage in the swamps with the moaning guy whose legs they spit-roasted ,singing grotesque drinking songs with the Svobodalith. Jealous of this, Sidorovich and Comrade Clip/Mag formed a secret farming club, where the accounts of the annual income were kept by the fireplace. However, they caught fire just before teatime had been arranged so plans were hidden in Sidorovich's reeking toenail collection,again, hidden in THE BASTARD'S FUCKING NOSTRIL, YA HAPPY?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes he was an hero, still after licking his balls he felt urge to live. Wait a minute! Where's the booze??? They all cried as withdrawal kicked the can down towards that dark plush toy shop. Then suddenly, Carnageman foolishly fell asleep in the campfire. "Ur ded", shouted teh l33t sn0rk midget. However, Carnageman was fireproof, thus the snork died. Without warning, there were mediocre bombards. Whatever the hell that is, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue undercover splinter stabbed that guy and his burrito eating girlfriend's boss in the leg, causing numerous pancakes to materialize in his esophagus, making for one hell of a stew. HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What happen!"- asked was from the headquarters of the ìîíîëèò. Someone punched him for nonsensical grammatics spoking, set us up for utter disappointment because of terrible forum administration, decided to correct it's rather unnaturally large testicles, took the defective power tools, raped Sidorovich's rottweiler, LOLOLOLOL but anyhow, that someone was Ara the merc!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three small rabbits went batshit bonkers, bullshitting beheaded benevolents. Being barely beneath barbarity, Blackwatch bestowed blessings and stopped to draw breath *huuuuuuuuuuurh*. Back! But by a chance, they took a bullet in the buttocks from Boris "Bad-Breathe" in Borov's basement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The infamous swine that killed Sidorovich was duly celebrated by baking a hash cookies using bad grammar. Truly, incontrovertibly, and undeniably, the cookies were TRIPPIN' BAAAAAAAALLS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN. I MEAN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! The pseudomidgets, disguised by the best Albanian jerky vendors, fled to SVOBODA, dealing opium and editing C-consciousness thoughts about Hello Kitty branded hair gel, used by many torture methods to extract the stupid location of epic proportions from the malevolent rodents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bes- The Latex Avenger crashed into our congested rear openings of an obese cow like creature's appearance. The resulting expansion of these openings was that BOLT HOLD OPEN could fit sideways when inside out into said openings. Billy Mays, who beat Sidorovich, approves.BE ON THE BOAT SAILOR, slurred a crusty old pseudogiant captain. As he sailed the seven swamps, ridden with horrible bloodsucker kracken things, he suddenly realized: First mate Sidorovich had vomited on his favorite jacket, effectively canceling all trips to see drug-induced, pink eye suffering snork. Having defeated all sense of logic, this story began taking a turn, once again, toward Sidorovich. I guess someone loves him, the cheap bastard that he is as a date. Cause he has damn cheap tastes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The haunted tutu toting tattered T-shirt torn to threads by an angry ostrich, Wolf began to question Sidorovich's paraplegia and mental illness records. Evidently, he had faked his psychological evaluation and his legs were just skinny, oddly enough. Due to an incredible mass falling on his very silly string, it was tied to his tail, which stretched into some distorted 20th dimension, thus causing terrible ripples of Barkeep's flabs making Mike Hawk upright into a rather wait whut...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STOP! AND THEY DID STOP, those Svobodalith Worshippers of Sidorovilism found out something that would shock even hardened stalkers beyond their wildest, mostly drunken imaginations: Ganja and Snitch became sober friends of the panda brigade, and fell to the temptations of bad tuna, becoming intoxicated with carnageman's absynthe farts, thinking that writing half a post would save Duty from becoming corrupted by evil monkeys flinging feces at you. Yes, you! So shoot them with bullets made of counter-feces so they melt like puny capitalist dogs, festering amongst Snoopy the beagle. About time this Simple Snow stopped THE FUCK HAPPENED???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT DID INDEED!!! PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! DINGLEBERRY FUCK NUTS!!!!!!!! I'MA GONNA KILL ME SOME SIDOROVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's try this: someone jumps off something very high and breaks HER FUCKING ANKLE TWICE!!! Nay, t'was thrice! Then everyone else just gave up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and started fresh. As it was missing the tildes which tried to and succeeded in stalting flesh, light and pleasure, making this story impossible for mere mortals to comprehend. Therefore, they were banned. Leaving them to writhe in their mistakes or something...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, new paragraph. Failed to capture the mad boar, due to his rookies always trying to catch bullets with their eyelids, Wolf fired up the infamous Reactor FIIIRIN' TEH LAZOR!!! SMACK BANG in his face, however, his face wasn't malformed like Sid's which made children buy DOGFOOD at low prices everywhere to cope with interests and hobbits TAKEN TO ISENGARD TO BREW VODKA from their feet being thrown into boiling liquid nitrogen to cool off before being thrown into luke-warm absinthe to brew horribly... After which, the Gods of Valhalla granted upon them the percentage symbol to reign for until the tilde returned in glory ~with banners fluttering~ in the wind-up teddy bear!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a most drunken display of RIDICULOUS WAREZING EVER... The fuck? Anyway, Sidorovich decided to get mentioned again in the chronicles, since other traders don't think DOGFOOD IS FOOD WHEN IT'S PARTY TIME! WOOHOO MOTHERFUCKERS, WOOHOO!!!WE MURDERED SIDOROVICH!!!!~! THEN HE REGENERATED!!! no substance whatsoever could save us from sidorobitch's godmode trainer, price of 400 000 RU BILLY MAYS HERE *bang* yeah...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Tortilla Boy said: BOLT HOLD OPEN before being punched in his burrito, which was made by burer virgins OF DEMENTED D00M, FORK YOU, ANTON! finger stuck in hook hand stuck in super glue this sentence makes delicious pancakes for those with brain... er... brain! BRAAAAIINS!! And a liver and Chianti fft-fft-fft-fft-fft!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A.D.D. much? Anyway, our heroes soon knew their time was at an hero that had to stop now!!! Incoherent sentences aside, this story would make previous attempts at summoning Sidorovich seem almost non-relevant cause he's dead... or a zombie, that strelok spared, because of someone didn't kill him. "Do Re Mi!" Karcentric's fecal grammar was endured painfully and unwillingly to the bitter end by every stalker who hadn't equipped umbrellas to their dog food detectors, removing all vacuum
cleaners with formaldehyde so as to
make every line
Special and like
shorter and
shorter
and
smaller
and
/0
OH SHII
Maybe not that. No, probably not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Cathmelar ended many ran from his mighty gloriousness! Very Happy, to shield themselves from Karcentirc's punctuation through Carnageman's thoroughness which resulted in chocolate rain! Some time afterwards, stalkers got out of their hiding spots, confronted Sidorovich about being alive still, listened carefully and struck while the fat prick looked at the prices, thus removing him from the chair and causing DOGFOOD to be BOLTED THE FUCK DOWN AND HELD OPEN.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, somewhere dark LOOK A HIPPIE... Somewhere dark, dammit! Within it lurked one grumpy stalker called Alex Horse was chewing his Karcentric's grammar assignment until it made a sense much like funny FUNGI remove all vacuum radiators and BOLT HOLD OPEN TOWARDS THE FUCKING GRAMMAR POLICE. Anyway, all vacuum cleaners had been removed by complaining idiots due to warranty being void, because Sidorovich sells bootleg magnitofon music and bothers stalkers with annoying one liners and dog food replacements for tourists' delight. Outraged by BOLT HOLD OPEN BOLT HOLD SIDOROVICH, I smashed him with picket. Killing him dead, but not quite dead actually, rather worthy of quick-loading and getting BOLT HOLD OPEN BOLT HOLD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am confuse, said stalker Sam after getting his hand stuck between two bloodsucker labia which created unwanted pregnancy. Then someone charged at Sidorovich, trying to kill the bastard, unsuccessfully. "What the hell!!" he shouted, puzzled by Sid's masterful ability to avoid DOGFOOD which was smashed with picket. A most unfortunate BOLT HOLD OPEN BOLT HOLD PICKET, as it caused BOLT HOLD OPEN for us all. Amen to that. Damn straight, nigga yelled the only deaf fish monger in the zone. With regards to his left lung, Ganja's weed never quite got him higher then that time with Sparrow, when they jumped off the reactor's roof into the mouth of Kharkiv the thousand headed armpit of Chernobyl. The resulting financial income was catastrophic, improving it significantly, you Freedom bastards. They were murdered....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bovine bowel defecation caused untold humor outbursts amongst Lenin fans who fell flat on their face after hearing. The accepted values of secondhand Lada's increased dramatically in a matter of universal importance. But people flocked towards the ancient machines, thinking only of Carnageman being Chernobyl, an untrue statement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fresh as a daisy Carnageman leapt into the pit of demented do0m and senile judgment, undermining the already unnervingly short paragraphs. After an almighty groundspike, graveyard devastator strode in majestically, bearing moldy bread and fried chicken unto his lord. He was rewarded with severe beatings from several angry food vendors, who really disliked poultry being ground up and put in boiling, radioactive oil to create horrid fungi by process of leaving them between the toes for six hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After sodomizing his pet bloodsucker's corpse, Sakharov poked Dartz in the eye and nevertheless survived the amazing attack of the Irish uber l33t h@xx0r from the basements of epic win, in Dimitroff's case it was preeminent. Thus, the quantity of half burnt nuclear fission spaceships full of snorks, beer, women and unfathomable shiny objects like lubed bodies only like slightly spicy Chinese food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOLrus finds bukkit"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news dog food prices roasted Ghost's toast the most. But the utmost boast hosted the coast roast observation post, but failed to find more rhymes, or mimes to do what defines chimes at regular times begging for crimes of the thyme scented joint grind kind, thine line of wine is mighty fine to dine on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, we must go in another direction, drunkenly rambling about fish with dish WAIT NEVERMIND... SIDOROVICH! We must KILL THE BASTARD, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he got up again. And stumbled away. That penitent niggard ripped off his engineer, who built an empire, funded by Albanian jerky taken from the very bowels of a rabid pseudogiant, worth a cool story written by chaosshade, Karcentric, Dimitroff, BOLT HOLD OPEN old meme is old as internet, getting better with age, however there is still the friendly zombie drooling all over your keyboard, causing questionable lack of periods. And tildes also.
HURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRHURRH URR
So, instead let's make this longer by adding copious three word contributions. Alright then. Yeah. FUCK YEAH SEAKI STALKERS!!! It's on now ctrl-V is easier to fork up and set fire breathing giant T-rexes. With that said, you should BOLT DOWN YOUR MOST valued threads, because it will fall: GOOOOO DICE ROLL!!!
5
6 sides
. Followed by terrible...
LESS TIME WASTING MOAR SAUSAGE TASTING! DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING said Dartz.... Not!
Gah, this fails, if you opened Jesus fucking Christ you'd find DOGFOOD stashed away in Sidorovich's personal box. But it's locked like Bes' virgin dog. Which incidentally mated with Afterburnzz's remote controlled gonad. "Why not?", said cofused onlookers, who were ignited and ran down by Max Damage and the revered barrel shroud (shoulder thing or whatever) wearing faggot from the bigland who thought periods were unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARKED ONE??? WHAT THE- *boom* grenaded! *lack of ragdoll self-pleasuring tools effectively closes this asterisk* But why open A wormhole into the hole of the whole damn COLT BOLD TUTUCOPTER, shot down by Chernobyl's personal army. "For Ukrytie!" shouted the sodomised vasectomy we're done here... Until someone starts reviving dead threads. Because starting new HOLTO BOLD PEN WOULD HOPEN POLT HOLD LOCK. "Now, that was informative!" said to Snitch the rookie who didn't get out of here before the STALKER.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limp Dick Bizkit was procrastinating till the end of all time! which was sooner than you might think as giant JOLT ROLL TOKENS ROLLED UP TO RUN YOU OVER USING CAPS LOCK. BOOM SHAKE SHAKE POW! MOTHERFUCKERS! Dead. Not big surprise. Not. At. Al.L. STOP DEFECATING ON THIS THREAD DAMMIT!! IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE ACTUALLY CARES FORK YOU ANTON!
Too long.
Fin
Chapter Three:
~Let's begin anew and try not to become a gibbering mass of BOLT HOLD OPEN. Fuck, that failed as BOLT HOLD took command of OPEN and spawned a terrible meme. The friendly zombie, detrats ot epyt sdrawkcab, tub stopped talking to budgies, removing unnecessary tildes, and tripping over new ganja shipments. Thankfully there was enough Swaziland for HOLT BOLD to get ONEP, but
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck your paragraph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck yours too. Strike 47 for the teapot team.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Senka dropped a big shite and got banned. There was little dispute to Dimitroff's itchy ban hammer, but there wasn't an extra line left for Ganja, who dropped two.
And began to procrastinate, terribly. Peanut brained Sidorovich, however, forgot where his Skogstroll's mighty sausage wasn't available for FOOL, leading to a trap for bears (which hadn't caused any trouble up until now. When suddenly a skeleton popped out brandishing Sidorovich's soggy bodily secretions, making noises that indicated erection was achieved. "Flee!" cried the sane, while YOU failed to run in a silly burn into the pit of eternal burination before someone said: "well, this certainly isn't the Russian bricks that I ate earlier, making for one interesting dinner conversation. "Pass the salt and here's your ["]. Mass quote confusion surely would confuse anyone except for the one who fucked your mother. With that lovely, this fact shocked several fuzeboxes, from here to Yantar. The radiators, however disturbed the flora, remove all vacuum or else the meme is broken. Sid's many lamas, misspelled horrifically by Zeno's internet browser. Sentence fragment pwnage. Is not only a tragedy, but also fucks up fucking fuckery, fucktard! "Дабай, Ара, всё!" Some drunk guy beat up emos, who were actually asking for it. An emergency evacuation of bowels lead to gulag tiem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In glorious CCCP paragraph starts you! Said the renowned, confirming the fact there was no fungi to be taken with tomatoes on the radiator. Once again, Sidorovich IS DEAD, because I HATE HIM and his DOGFOOD, SO FUCK HIM. Overly ambitious Carnage is awesome, so Pinnochio's nose grew. Carnage sitting on his awesome chair, missing one leg, is still awesome. For a flesh. Except on Wednesdays of broken sentences. FUCK YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! BOLT HOLD...NO YOU! Then Santa Claus invaded the pants of dead Sidorovich, gnolting mold tokens. But Chris Hansen didn't like the colour of the sex predator's car, so he planted a nuclear bomb up your arse. Clearasil ate children during Sidorovich variety exhibition in the main hall. Pepsi makes for tipsy cocktails when mixed with DOGFOOD sandvich will make you screw grammar in glorious CCCP, land of Sidorovich reign, unless he's dead... Which allows grammar to prosper successfully, ruining sentences everywhere wait, how? Grammar children like zombie goats. The stock market fell when BOLT OUT OF HERE YOU DAMNED MEMES. "Mission accomplished!" said the almighty BOLTER HOLDER OPENER grizzly bear troll, whose procrastination exemplars are unrivaled throughout. "Throughout what, exactly?" Asked the bear. "Throughout the world, you drunken buffoon!", answered the Illuminati. Limp Dick Gwajabba lol'd, causing untold horrors of lost games. However, the game wasn't lost, as Candlejack qui
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"That was interesting." One guy commented on the friendly Christmas zombie gambler who lost garters in the bottomless pit of marshmallows. Rogue Ganja salesmen plotted against Hutu, planning to steal Tutsi game plans. The only problem was Sidorovich: that he is dead didn't help business WITH FOGDOOD. Inconspicuous pygmy bandits infiltrated ingenious inaccessible infrastructures, indenting insulation induced increased artifact theft to tropical tracts, tyrannically thrashing Transylvanian triangular thresholds. Tolik took the timer, trying to teleport 500 posts ahead. But the telephone decided to fuck your mother. Thus, YOUR MOM WAS PHONE AND DEMONS YOU ARE THE. OLOL LOL'D THE LOLZY LOLRUS INTO LOSING it's Brain to Professor Sakharov in a game, "Doin' it WRONG" "NO U" mumbled the METAL BOXES OF ELECTRICAL POWER WITH ALL CAPS BEIN' PAWP'D, NEGGUH. WHACHOO LOOKIN AT? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tildety tilde tilded smashed by picket crawled up your nose and sold countless wonders, procrastinating procrastination: that's right, he said procrastination!! Congruence is a bolt, held open against your face - cold, inexorable, unrelenting! Speaking about Sidorovich ordering Zeno pizza with disgusting salami for 17 000 rubles (the average stalker having to squat in a moldy stingy porridge salesman's bunker eating DOGFOOD sold by Sidorovich at BASTARD OVERPRICED ridiculous sidenote lengths) because it was topped with powdered Moonlight and Urchin, and a sideorder of Snorkshake bucket, Controller brains dip, and Flesh crackling ;ryyrtd djogyrf tohjy, "That was bananas." "Bullshit, bananas don't bend that way." The bartender shouted "FOOL" at Vanya, making him push Sidorovich's corpse into the X10 lab's Snork Construction Room which created Snorkosids and Sidorovich regenerated. Able to jump straight into a pit of molten fruit punch, creating BOLT HOLD SIDDIE, he quickly dismantled Karcentric's fecal grammar and shot two drugs: pentaendomonotodextrin and assaholomophrin, rapidly becoming bloated and irritable, enddasentencedammit! With that, Cthulhu pth'agn R'lyeh lolled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Karcentric's fecal grammar once again took hold over fucking your mother. Yes, Carnage's mother. And Afterburnzz's. Hard. Yes, Afterburnzz's dog. That's his mother. Actually, Carnageman's mother. Something truly terrible, yet SIDOROVICH IS DEAD FOR GOOD! Really now? Let's celebrate! HE REGENERATED! Bullshit, Sidoroviches don't exist. Or do Llamas just pop in out of nowhere, like BOLTS and HOLD OPEN being DOGFOOD. Auspicious, the mad bandit guru lead spies quickly succumbed to Kobura's fecal grammar. No fecal grammar could possibly match your mother's, though. Serial rapist Sidorovich definitely defiled her. These fragment sentences are as profound, as they are braindead due to having their brains fried in their skulls by the rebuilt Brain Scorcher. That was lame. Almost as lame as Ganja having a sandvich with Heavy Sidorovich guy, who was outsmarted. Not a hard thing to do, considering SIDOROVICH, the bastard, is dead. No, that's a Siddie, not a paraplegic fat bastard, who sells overpriced BASTARD radiators: 200 000 000 0 RU . Motherfucking rubles. Bastard. Ass. Random words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a midnight dreary, pissing, the mad bandit, was a lolcamel and sexy Sidorovich was a zombie that ZSG loved back to death because they're necrophiliacs. Not that it matters, Sidorovich regeneration gives you AIDS, osteoporosis and hemorrhoids. In other news Admin said MONOLITH! YES HE DID! Doing it wrong is a shame, and is WRONG. So stop it. So sexy Sidorovich, dying, proclaimed that he was leaving Nitro his bunker: Due to alcoholic poisoning by Cardan, this was exceptional. Or was it? Sure it was, but was WRONG. God, too wrong, like beer milkshakes or carrot flavored radioactive zombie herpes. Definitely not the best choice around here. What is this shit?! Cried the clone of MAH BOI, STRIVING TO GET DINNER. BUT ALAS, DINNER WAS ALREADY SERVED! And Vano said "My nose has melted into the orange flesh eye, and the Sidorovich stockpiles have dwindled, leaving him with Trololo peanut butter. Basically, everyone's in Pripyat, eating spam bought from Sidorovich." without drawing breath! BOLT HOLD OPEN will save us from Voronin's satanic ways, leaving him, Zhorik's mutated daughter and her radiator. Garik's rap battle failed to impress MC Docent Suslov: the alpha and omega of rap (if not counting Sidorovich's mix tape, sold at BASTARD, BULLSHIT, FUCKING EXPENSIVE Judenstrudelberg sponsored stores)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After his lengthy length penetrated all sorts of bullshit polka dancing bandits)<- THE FUCKING COLON IS HAUNTING ME! Well, seeing that Skogstroll drew his, looked at it and ate some unnecessary commas, we performed tonsillectomy, vasectomy, lobotomy and autobiography. Chef, the chef was an Anarchist. Suprisingly enough. "Word!" Replied the only friendly dancing zombie, holding bolts open. Communisation was implemented without any sauce spread over the Diet Sausage and the tildes in Simple Snow's basement, flooded by diarrhea and vodka, which taste good together. As long as the stool's fresh. I wat'd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short stroke pistons stroke striking prickly pork, pounding pans set seldom a sellable Sidorovich prices, poking with prickly penetrators, seeking somnambulist sonatas. Powerful, submersible septic serpentine synchronics sway TO THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH SHITTY MUSICALS. Back In The USSR there was this girl that I kinda liked, but she was sent a letter which demolished her house, making rape the primary food source, ruling her out. Saddened by this, several bandits killed me and cut an apple into 5 pieces, leaving me to resurrect another Sidorovich clone. "DAMMIT MORE SIDOROVICH!", she yelled when MC Docent Suslov played a commercial video with DJ Garik naked in OG Father Valerian's Loner Camp love tub and jacuzzi, with bloodsuckers and fleshes in catsuits. When the vodka charged, shouting "FOOL!" at Mr.T who, taking in a room full of strange antics, joined with Zulu, sounddocking a vodka bottle in a way guaranteed to cause untold mayhem, runny stools and intense cranial hemorrhaging. For those concerned, GET IN HERE, STALKER! GET OUT OF MY DREAMS! Jump into the goatse with the snorks, releasing mixtapes , rapping to the cabaret of Poker to DJ Garik's beats, inducing long lasting addictions to Wu Tang's last meal. Respectively, NUKULAR SHROOMZ and ice cream led to this.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIRST MATE SIDOROVICH! DROP AND GIVE ME NINETY THOUSAND OF YOUR HARDEST PSEUDODOG TAILS AND OVERPRICED BASTARD SUITS. SUDDENLY, DISCO DANCE DIMITROFF DROPPED DOWN, ALL THE SINGLE, DATING, AND WEDDED SIDOROVICH LOOK ALIKES ALLOWED ADDITIONAL ADDITIVES AT ALLOTED ADDICTIVE ASSIGNED ANTISOCIAL ANABIOTICS ADDICTIVE ALOTTED AROUND ANONYMOUS ANIMAL APTITUDES. AIMING AN AK AT AN ANTONOV, ALEX ARSEFACEY ANNIHILATED ANASTASIA'S AILING AUNTS. AFTER ABNORMALLY ANGERING ANDROPOV, ALEX AIDED AARDVARKS' AUSPICIOUS ADVANCES ALTERING ALEX'S ACTING ALL AGAINST AKSU ABOVE AUSTRALIA AMIABLY ALTERING AUGMENTED ASTERISKS. ANDROPOV APPLIED ALEX'S, effectively stopping this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In capitalist America URGL BRGLS YOU! This is because orange flavoured snorks worship their Monoliths like crazy polar and bipolar Svoboda members who forgot to hate to create Sidorovich clones and love their snorks with tits. "SNORKS WITH TITS?!", General Voronin demanded sauce, seeing how kiddiot spammers invaded OH DUDE SNORKS WITH TITS is YEARNING FOR BANNAGE by zombiefyed traders who wear stockings on their arms cause their legs were dissolved by Carnage's absinthe cocktail and fruit punch mix, which was swimming in urine, like, dude, like, a wild Sidorovich just jumped off an oak, dying almost completely. But Sidorovich regeneration BOLTS THE COFFIN OF HOLD OPEN, thereforeby incapacitating all surrounding bagel-eating Sidorovichs, forcing PRICE CUTS! ON OVERPRICED SUITS! No fucking way... YES FUCKING WAY, ONLY 59,999RU, 99 COPECKS! HOW CAN YOU RESIST THE SIDOROLITH? Quite easily actually, considering SIDDIE NEVER HAD A SHRINE, only three temples. Made of stinking OLD MAN BACKGROUNDS, WHICH ARE DISGUSTING AND DECREPIT HORRIBLE, raping eyes everywhere. So brave Skogstroll did a RickRoll, drew his mighty awesome Niggamortis LP with its PINGAS , PENDOUS, PIENDISH, PINESS, all while screaming: SHIT ON SIDOROVICH, say what honky? Fuck all holes of bovine excrement. Fuck dat shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BASTARD SIDOROVICH fans continued price gouging, shitting kopecks and brown-nosing Sidorovich. Who deserved it. Wait, is that -HOLD THAT BOLT! TOO MUCH CANCER! OR IS IHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The previous paragraph was shorter than Mitay's Sidorovich boner towards the uncanny stalker who was collecting Rule 63 to his precious snorks, adding TITS, being slapped in the face by an unbelievably mighty man-sausage from Sidorovich fan club and stopped his silly shit. Soodooroovooch! Hovong collod Morkod one, time again, Dragunov stopped picking his nose. I had a knife, somewhere, a knife! "WHICH SPARROW STOLE FEATHERS FOR ITS FECAL GRAMMAR NEST?", yelled Adder at Maginot's rather disloyal display of assholery through incredulous dullard-like drinking skills. Behind your backs, admins were planning something, like permabannage or inhumation with maximum efficiency, agility, weed killer and Trololo murderous BASTARD cakes of soap flakes that PWNT Sidorovich into endless clones of Chernobyl, invading the Rookie Camp and increasing prices remarkably. "60,000.01 RU BASTARD SUITS?! Fuck me sideways!" yelled Maginot, and widened his buttocks in vain, expecting a merciless DICKING.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No faggotry here, seriously, no homo. Anyway, having gutted YO WHITE AZZ COZ YA'LLZ WAZ SHOPPING AT SIDOROVICH'S SUPER STORE OF OVERPRICED STALKER GOODS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOLT. HOLD.
Конец.
