The ZSG RP Character Beatdown!

[Διμι]

I would like to welcome all of ye spectators to:

The ZSG RP Character Beatdown Tourney

As we all know, the order of the two 16-man brackets have been decided by our glorious diceroll thread. Here they are!

Tier One: The Preliminaries Seth vs. Victor Gad vs. Vasily Karc vs. Owen Leon vs. Jericho Adder vs. Dimitri Schwarz vs. Balalaika Torch vs. Thor Burner vs. Lutiy --------------------------------- Tarasov vs. Burilgi Jurgen vs. Rodent Ferret vs. Mephisto Sigbrand vs. Serpenson Sokol vs. Lt. Rurik Harmund vs. Maginot Duke vs. Chaos Khan vs. Rusty

Tier Two Seth vs. Gad Karc vs. Jericho Adder vs. Schwarz Thor vs. Lutiy Tarasov vs. Jurgen Mephisto vs. Sigbrand Rurik vs. Harmund Duke vs. Khan

Tier Three Seth vs. Karc Adder vs. Lutiy Tarasov vs. Mephisto Rurik vs. Duke

Tier Four: The Semi-Finals Seth vs. Lutiy Tarasov vs. Rurik

Tier Five: The Finals

So, without any further ado, onto the fights themselves!

[Διμι]

Let us move on, to staining the irradiated ground with the irradiated blood of our first eight irradiated victims, and hail the first eight irradiated victors into tier two! The first bracket is quite the unpredictable beast, and has resulted in some tantalizingly close matches, as well as some genuine seal-beatings.

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Match 1: Victor vs. Seth

The very first match of this tournament is already making me regret ever conceiving it. Two of my characters, one of whom will have to hit the ground by the end of this fight. And a short fight it will be.

On one side we have Victor: somewhat fresh Duty Sympathizer in the Zone, although certainly with decent gear. He might have had a chance. Against anyone else but Seth, that is. With Seth having been three years in the Zone killing Dutiers, loners, bandits, mutants, and god knows what else until he attained leadership of Freedom, things are looking rather plain and grim for our loner hero. In fact, it couldn't be any more obvious.

Victor: Seth

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Match 2: Gad vs. Vasily

Our second match, one the other hand, seems to be quite a bit more close, as well as entertaining. In one corner we have the infamous Gad - the squealy, overweight, but sadistic zealot of the Monolith's cause. Opposite him in every way we have Vasily - the refined, educated, and practiced leader of the Ecologist faction. Things couldn't look any more antagonistic. The question is: which of these extremes would win?

To attain the truth, we go back to our schooltime years. And the sad truth is, the geeks will get the shit beaten out of them. Gad might be slow, leaving time for Vasily to get a couple of shots in, however, Gad's immense layer of adipose would cushion the impact and protect him by trapping the bullets, leaving time for a good 'ole one-two to the face, and the making of a meager lunch out of the egghead afterwards.

Victor: Gad

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Match 3: Karc vs. Owen Williams

Another truly interesting matchup. Owen is armed and armored to the teeth, and, despite his short lifespan of only two posts, has quite a history in the RPG. Having blown up a bridge with himself and a shitload of fanatics on it, and then having the strength to drag his mind-controlled ass to the Brain Scorcher installation to reactivate it certainly suggests a level of physical hardiness, and plain badassery.

Karc, however, presents more than a worthy opponent. The fellow mercenary survived a military ambush in the dark as a rookie, as well as mutant swarmings, psychic mindfuckery, demolition missions, and the typical work of the not-quite typical stalker. In fact, just the sort of typical work only a typical pro would be hired to participate in, typically. Despite the fact that of all of Karcentric's characters, he has been fecalizing the RP the longest, Karc wins the match.

Victor: Karc

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Match 4: Leon vs. Jericho

What a fireworks display! Two stalkers. Two Monolith leaders. One a successor of the other. And, of course, both armed to the teeth with the latest of gear available to pretty much anyone.

Leon, having killed Lutiy, might very well be the legend to kill the legend of legends. The man busted his way into the Duty armory to recover one of their top exoskeletons, as well as an advanced rifle prototype. The gear alone makes him a worthy opponent, to speak nothing of the fact that he can use it like a trained killer, to do exactly what he does. Kill people.

Jericho, however, could be considered even more advanced in terms of gear. An exoskeleton that allows the former Monolith leader to sprint, and a pinpoint-accurate Gauss rifle that pierces any armor ever developed will eventually give the fanatic the upper hand, since the tiny slug will punch through Leon like paper before he even gets a chance to come close. And, wearing a half-ton armored suit won't even give him the chance to dodge the shot. Sorry bro.

Victor: Jericho

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Match 5: Adder vs. Dimitri

Another spectacular confrontation. Two combatants that can only be aptly described as psycho bitches will have to duke it out. Of course, there are some obvious advantages one has over the other, but with these two, there is plenty that will not immediately meet the eyes.

Captain Dimitri has one hell of a record. Former founder of Freedom, champion of the Monolith, and, to top it off, subsequently a high-ranking military officer. His experience alone seems to demand victory in this fight, not to mention his mind is blown to complete shit by the stuff he's been through, making him one neurotic, trigger-happy bastard.

As suggested earlier, however, there's plenty to Adder to evade the first glance of the casual observer, and it all plays in her favor. Her little steaming mind-trysts with the Monolith up north also conveniently made her into an insane bitch, leveling the playing field. She's killed plenty in the few weeks she's been in the Zone, and most of it on impulse. Not to mention, she uses POISON BOOLETS, the slightest nick from which delivers death. As toughened and experienced Dimitri may be, he will in no way be prepared for the way a startled Adder will unload all the PMS that has never so far even been mentioned in the RP onto him. Poor guy.

Victor: Adder

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Match 6: Schwarz vs. Balalaika

C'mon. Balalaika didn't even have the guts to pull the trigger properly on some psycho she didn't even know. In spite of a cash reward enough to make her queen of the Zone.

Crack shot that she may be, how can one expect her to shoot someone who once saved her ass from a bunch of bloodsuckers?

Schwarz, on the other hand, would first pummel her for getting him into a tight spot with the Freedomers, and then order her back to the kitchen.

Victor: Schwarz

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Match 7: Torch vs. Thor

Torch got killed by a poltergeist.

Thor tore one in half, and squashed the head of another.

Any questions?

Victor: Thor

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Match 8: Burner vs Lutiy

For all you sick, gore-enjoying fucks out there, here's the highlight of the evening. As much reputation and clearance and status with the mercenaries Burner might be able to swing around, it unfortunately won't stop Lutiy from slapping Burner's gray face silly enough to turn it red again, taking his identification, heading into the merc HQ, and stealing all their cake.

Victor: Lutiy

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Seth, Gad, Karc, Jericho, Adder, Schwarz, Thor, and Lutiy advance into Tier Two!

Stick around for the results of the second Tier One Bracket tomorrow.

[Διμι]

As promised, the second bracket to conclude the preliminaries and determine the first 16 victors has finally met. Let's take a look at all the gore, carnage, and bloodshed our beloved RP characters have caused in the interim.

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Match 9: Burilgi vs. Tarasov

Let's not get any false illusions here. Burilgi as a stalker, despite his rotund stance, has plenty going for him. He has killed a man stealthily in the night, no remorse attached, all for three Flash artifacts, one of which he still keeps.

Unfortunately, this will only serve as a disadvantage in his fight against Tarasov. Although Burilgi will be able to waddle around at speeds very much above the legal limit, Tarasov will then have no choice but to pull him over and demand a license. Upon finding none, Tarasov will have no choice but to bring Burilgi down and painstakingly read him a list of his crimes, before bringing him to the ground.

Victor: Tarasov

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Match 10: Jurgen vs. Rodent

Poor Rodent. We all really wish there was something more going for him in this tournament.

But his very first match pits our invisible, blind hero against an armed-to-the-teeth exoskeleton suited mercenary wielding a sniper rifle, a machinegun, and a convenient grenade launcher attached to both. Needless to say, Rodent won't even get close, even if he'll strip buck naked. Jurgen being Greek, that's probably not the best idea anyway...

Victor: Jurgen

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Match 11: Ferret vs. Mephisto

Another seal beating.

We're sorry Ferret. We really are. If we had known this match would have turned out like this, we probably would have tried to rig the dice.

Maybe Meph will go light on you.

Maybe.

Victor: Mephisto

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Match 12: Sigbrand vs. Major George Serpenson

Another glorious victory for the spirit of youth. In one corner stands George Serpenson, trained warrior of the DGSE, and their emissary to the Zone. Having been to both the Ivory Coast and Kosovo in his life, this man has seen much.

In the other corner, we have Sergeant Sigbrand Myrvang. A nineteen year old violinist-turned-wunderkind-Duty-crackshot-sniper all in a matter of days since his arrival into the Zone. A badass of badasses who has killed mercenaries, mutants, Monolithians, and stalked elite Freedom squads without opposition. What really seals the deal for Serpenson is the fact that he is still French. The major will try to surrender in every way he has been trained to. None of it will stop Sigbrand from splitting his head from half a kilometer away.

Victor: Sigbrand

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Match 13: Sokol vs. Rurik

Another long-awaited, intriguing, but short round of combat. Rurik, knowing that he stands no chance against the Freedomers' premier marksman at a distance, will no doubt call out the lanky Freedomer in hand to hand combat. Sokol, being a snarky ass who wants to prove himself after his beloved leader's succession by a French man, will accede. Rurik, exoskeleton factored in, outweighs Sokol by at least two hundred pounds, despite only being two inches taller.

From Sokol's acceptance, the match will progress towards a radical change, in which we will find out that all along it would have been Rurik with Sokolbat vs. Century-Old Tree.

Victor: Rurik

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Match 14: Harmund vs. Maginot

Given the outcome of the previous match, Maginot will no doubt be incensed with rage and furious vengeance for his best sniper. The man is an unpredictable anarchist, with plenty of good weaponry and artifacts given to him by Seth, as well as lots of experience from traveling both with Rurik's group and alone, with his companion Adder. Unfortunately for Maginot, Adder is the true man with the legitimate balls in this situation, and it is only her rep as an insane bitch that radially splashes onto her superior and gives him any credibility whatsoever. Not to mention like Serpenson he's French.

And he's fighting an exoskeleton-clad beast of a man who is prone to going into rage fits, and even fought off an entire swarm of bloodsuckers to save his baby brother Sigbrand. A monster whose handgun the mofuggin Lutiy saw fit to keep as a personal trophy.

Thus, Harmund will live up to the Myrvang Bros' tradition of pummeling Frenchmen into oblivion.

Victor: Harmund

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Match 15: Duke vs. Chaos

Duke may have been stupid enough to get his ass handed to him by a woman after being warned. But that woman was Adder nonetheless. Not to mention, the man broke in and out of the Duty armory undetected, faced snorks and Monolithians in the Red Forest, didn't die of fear at the sight of a Fu Manchu moustache, and even made it all the way to Pripyat before getting his head blown off.

Being an initially friendly guy, Duke would probably convince Chaos into a drinking session, in which he would obviously win. The bandit would proceed to strip the loner naked in the Red Forest and leave him to the intents of the furry residents galore.

Victor: Duke

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Match 16: Khan vs. Rusty

We have to admit, Rusty's come a damn long way. From a balaclava-wearing bandit unsure of himself by the Garbage barricades, to a Duty-Suit-toting, AUG/SVD-shooting badass who came with Leon all the way to Pripyat to pwn a squad of Monolithians and a fucking Pseudogiant. Rusty's become quite the veteran stalker.

As true as all of this is, Rusty has absolutely no idea of the kind of horror that he will face in his confrontation with Khan. Perhaps if the bandit had kept his balaclava in lieu of the advanced environmental armored suit, he may have stood a chance against Khan's infamous moustache attack. Unfortunately, he did not. Khan's moustache will penetrate the protective visor effortlessly, and rape Rusty's face in a bloodsuckeresque fashion. Rusty's final moments, as well as the last thing he will ever see, will not be envied by many.

Victor: Khan

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Tarasov, Jurgen, Mephisto, Sigbrand, Rurik, Harmund, Duke, and Khan will advance into Tier Two!

[Διμι]

After the first long, brutal round of fighting in the Preliminaries, sixteen of our combatants finally hit the ground, while the remaining sixteen go on to

Tier Two

With the blood of sixteen of the ZSG's not-quite-best-and-brightest staining the ground, what better way to commemorate and celebrate this occasion but by spilling the blood of eight more?

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Match 1: Seth vs. Gad

As everyone can recall, Gad turned the egghead Vasily into crow food in his previous match. Hence, he might just live up to the standards, and make crow food out of ex-egghead Seth as well, won't he?

That is, if Seth wasn't the best fighter in Freedom with some of the top gear in the Zone as a whole. What's another Monolithian to someone who killed around ten of them, along with Pseudogiants, controllers, bloodsuckers, snorks, high ranking secret service military troopers, and zombies galore? Seth will kill two birds with one stone by easily jumping a tier and turning Gad's immeasurable supplies of lard into enough salo to feed his homeland of Belarus for the next month. Everyone is happy.

Victor: Seth

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Match 2: Karc vs. Jericho

Jericho won his previous match by shooting an enemy too heavy and clumsy to dodge the ex-Preacher's Gauss Rifle projectile. Unfortunately for the Monolithian, Karc does not suffer from this defect, and thus, can get up close for actual combat.

In close range combat, Jericho will no doubt attempt to zombify Karc with his legendary Resonance emitter. Unfortunately, as Lutiy proved to Jericho once in the RP, a psy-protected individual will have plenty of time to pull out a gun and send a bullet through Jericho's brain before finally falling to the effects of the emission. Poor bastard just doesn't want to learn, does he?

Victor: Karc

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Match 3: Adder vs. Schwarz

Schwarz gained an undeniably easy entry into tier two by using Balalaika's weakness and sympathies against her. Now faced with another woman, these advantages are, unfortunately, nullified. For a start, Adder's still blowing steam from her confrontation with the late Captain Dimitri (who as we know, can turn anyone batshit insane), not to mention she's kind of pissed at Schwarz as well for sticking with a group half of the members of which were trying to assassinate her.

And, oh yeah. Bitch wasn't kidding when she ordered to kill them. And with no more Frenchmen and Freedom snipers in this tournament to restrain her, she'll fucking do it herself.

Victor: Adder

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Match 4: Thor vs. Lutiy

Lutiy killed Thor once, and he'll do it again. There's no question about it, the only real concern is how much the janitors will have to mop up once the bandit is finished spraying three hundred pounds of Freedom gunner in battle armor all over the clearing, making for another easy step for him to the top of the ladder.

Of course, the most important part of this victory is the match it will lead up to for Lutiy in Tier Three...

Victor: Lutiy

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Match 5: Tarasov vs. Jurgen

At last! A real matchup in Tier Two. A stalker and a military officer, both on opposite ends of the spectrum, and both armed to the teeth with an assortment of top-notch gear.

Jurgen, having spread the unfortunate Rodent across the walls with sprays of explosive canisters and armor piercing 7.62x51mm ammo in the previous round, will no doubt be feeling fairly confident about his match.

Unfortunately, so is Tarasov. His previous victory over the wrongdoer Burilgi will be enough to send the Army officer into a zealous crusade to crush all that is wrong in the Zone. With a cry of "I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, STALKER", he will meet the Greek man head on in a spectacle of male bonding that will go unmatched until the legendary meeting of Rurik and Harmund later in this Tier.

Unfortunately, the decisive factor in this fight is that Jurgen is simply not man enough to withstand so much Slav at once. After all, what is there to expect of a man who works out with smaller weights than the creator of this site, who weighs 140 pounds?

Victor: Tarasov

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Match 6: Sigbrand vs. Mephisto

Much rage will be had over the outcome of this fight, no matter what it will be. Meph and Sigbrand are perhaps the two leading figures of the avant-garde hardcore assassin trend, and thus, seeing either of them go will be a terrific blow to the hearts and minds of bandit and Duty fanboys everywhere.

Despite all the hoopla, the match will only be as much as down and dirty. While Sigbrand is an insane sniper, Meph is still Dodge Cat.

And then, it will all be gloriously over.

RAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEGRAEG

Victor: Mephisto

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Match 7: Rurik vs. Harmund

The battle of two titans indeed. With two massive men in exoskeletons, it can only end in a fistfight to the end. On one hand, we have Harmund, the berserk-prone older brother of Sigbrand who once took down an entire pack of bloodsuckers in a bloody rage. Then again, we have an even bigger opponent in the form of Rurik, a man who conveys his intentions through 'simple, violent acts'.

More importantly, however, Sigbrand's loss to Meph in the previous fight will be enough to work up Harmund into a berserker rage to make the rest of the combatants quake in fear, as the ground rumbles and the walls begin to shake. The Norwegian monster's power level will approach a critical mass we all know and love to quote, and like a genuine soldier, he will take out his rage on his superior.

Rurik, being the big daddy of all Duty and pretty much the entire Zone's population of stalkers in general, will take this mild tantrum his own way, and give his subordinate a spanking that will make even the most hardened stalkers avert their eyes.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU--

Victor: Rurik

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Match 8: Khan vs. Duke

Khan will be feeling confident when he enters this fight, and there's really no reason for him not to. In his eyes, Duke is the equivalent of Rusty, whom Khan's moustache alone had defeated in the previous match without a problem at all. After all, the two bandits have the same armor, not an entirely different build, and similar gear to boot.

Hence, Khan will re-enact his time-tested (and only) strategy and let his moustache do all the dirty work. However, once Khan's massive Fu Manchu stache finally breaks through the visor of the bandit's suit, Duke's horrifyingly decisive advantage will become absolutely clear. The bandit's breath, laden with alcohol, ganja, and God know what other concoctions, will be enough to literally make Khan's moustache fall off.

With Khan's only advantage and weapon gone, Duke is left free to smash a vodka bottle over the massive stalker's head in celebration. of his victory, and watch as the latter falls, everything that he ever was, taken from him.

Victor: Duke

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Seth, Karc, Adder, Lutiy, Tarasov, Mephisto, Rurik, and Duke will step over the bodies of their competitors and continue into Tier Three: The Quarter-Finals!

[Διμι]

My personal congratulations are extended to the stalkers that have lived to see the quarter finals. Unfortunately, their numbers must once more be halved. Without any further ado, let us proceed to:

Tier One

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Match 1: Seth vs. Karc

So far, it has been a smooth ride for Seth, and will be so straight into the semi-finals. As experienced as Karc may be, Seth only has a meager three year lead on him.

Karc may even feel a twinge of regret at fighting the stalker who had once pulled him out of a zombie-ridden underground laboratory, admitted him into his team of pros to explore the center of the Zone, and was in general an all-around leader. Seth on the other hand, spared no sympathy towards the mercenaries, spectacularly wrecking one of their expensive winches at a mere "no".

Karc is by no means a winch, but we can trust Seth as the resourceful type to make this fight entertaining as well.

Victor: Seth

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Match 2: Adder vs. Lutiy



Rapist: Lutiy

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Match 3: Tarasov vs. Mephisto

The first truly unpredictable matchup dependent almost solely on circumstance. Normally, Meph's skills with the blade, automatic handgun, and silenced rifle, as well as his ability to sneak would play the decisive role in combat with even the toughest of opponents. The Asian would chop his combatant into enough pieces to serve up in pork fried rice. As the rice.

However, the critical factor here is Tarasov's insane streak of righteousness in this tournament that will play out as a terrific booster against the assassin's morally corrupt persona. Having absorbed the souls of no less than two hardened wrongdoers in his crusade already, Tarasov is turned into a true paladin out to demand documentation of every trespasser in the Zone whilst radiating pure bureaucracy. Meph's counterfeit papers, as well as his being Dodge Cat, will help him little when Tarasov, so to speak, 'smashed it with picket'.

Victor: Tarasov

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Match 4: Rurik vs. Duke

As lucky as Duke may have been in this tourney so far with his fights against Chaos and Khan, he just doesn't seem to have the capacity to understand that walking up to the leader of Duty after stealing a suit, rifle, and grenade launcher from the said faction is, by general consensus, a bad idea.

Having spanked Harmund severely enough to wear down his trusty Sokolbat, Rurik will no doubt be looking to new frontiers in the field of stalker beatsticks to trim the mutated hedges outside of his window and punish the deserving in the Semi-Finals.

Duke makes a perfect candidate.

Victor: Rurik

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Seth, Lutiy, Tarasov, and Rurik will advance into the semi-finals.

[Karcentric]

So is this ever going to finish?

[Διμι]

Possibru.

I'm going to give Tarasov a chance to earn some badassery points so he'll stand a feasible chance against Rooooorik.

[Karcentric]

Interesting...

[Zeno, Lord Camelith]

Tarasov earned some badass. Still no match against Rurik, but lets just finish this. Maybe Tarasov will attempt to blow himself up after getting ripped in half or something.

Aren't the grenades attached to the bottom half of his body?